Pet Pokemon 101
In October,1999, I was 7 years old – This is the time I remember as having my first existential crisis. The world became gray and the reality we lived in was no longer able to provide what I most desired. This was a new feeling to me and even though I dare say almost everyone lives through this occurrence throughout their existence, it was incomprehensible to me at the time.
To those of you who are interested enough to question what went down in that period of my life, I can say for certain that numerous kids around the world felt the same – it hit us all like a shockwave and not one parent could provide a solution.
This tear in reality spread like an epidemic – In Europe “Patient 0” manifested on October 5th, personally I got torn apart October 25th, and with time globally 31.38 million people got affected. We did not stand a chance, no vaccine could have helped and no home remedy could have prepared our psyche to be blown out of proportions to such an extent. However, the cause was ever so clear – You see, the cause was the release of the very first Pokemon Game.
I am sure that those of you who are within my generation can relate. That damn game. Upon starting it up for the first time, you were introduced to a world where catching and fighting with monsters was a lifestyle! Not even “Frankenstein looking” Monsters, but cute, loveable and charming monsters. This game consumed me and every time I turned it off, I was left with an emptiness, caused by the unfairness that Pokemon was not a “real” thing.
A Psychologist would probably be quick to diagnose me with Depersonalization-derealization disorder (a mental health condition where you feel disconnected from your body, your feelings and your environment), but calm down Freud. I did not have the feeling of being in a wrong environment or not belonging, just an overwhelming itch of jealousy from not living in a world with overpowered, potentially dangerous, animals.
Since then, I begged my parents for various animals of more “exotic nature”. First it was a turtle, which I would have dubbed Bowser. Then it was the wish to get a hairless cat (sphynx), who obviously would be Van Wrinkle. Finally, several tries later, I gave it a shot to get myself an Iguana, named after a Japanese legend (Godzilla). Obviously, my parents were not super convinced about the various zoological ideas I had, so neither happened.
However, now 20 years later – I am a responsible adult – and went out to get myself a Great Dane, sporting the name Odin. He is great, drools a lot, loves people and is oblivious to his own size – so I would not trade him for anything. Nonetheless, I still cannot help wondering how a reality with Pokemon would be and If i would ever be able to afford a house, which could contain a Snorlax.
This leads me to the topic of the day! What if we did have Pokemons? What if everything you have seen in detective Pikachu, and more, became part of your day-to-day life? To me it is an exciting thought, and definitely something I would love to explore further!
Where am I going with this?
Now, I could obviously write entire books on this and if i had to include every pokemon out there, we would never find an end to this. Therefore, I will put my efforts into Pokemons from the first generation and more specifically the ones I got to journey with during my playthroughs of “Pokemon Red”. So strap in and prepare yourself for an article discussing the benefits of a blastoise in the fireforce and downsides of an indoor Charmander. A guide for Pet Pokemon 151 if you will.
*P.S. Unrelated, but today I am trying to convince my girlfriend to get a pet pig, with the initials C.P.B (Chris P. Bacon).
Pokemon Red
Pokemon Red and Blue was released as role-playing video games developed by Game Freak and published by Nintendo for the Game Boy. They were first released in Japan in 1996 as Pocket Monsters Red and Pocket Monsters Green, with the special edition Pocket Monsters Blue.
Pokémon Red and Blue introduce legions of gamers to the region of Kanto, which is based on the real-life Kantō region in Japan. This is the distinct region, where we are introduced to the first 151 Pokémon species and the world surrounding them.
A funny side note is that the game developer, Satoshi Tajiri, pitched the concept of Pokémon to Nintendo‘s staff in 1990 and was met with skepticism… I guess those skeptics are rather quiet today.
The Plot
The first games paved the road for years worth of stories, with crime organizations, monsters, people and tournaments, which would reappear in many future games, cards and movies to come!
We as the player begin in our hometown of Pallet Town. After venturing alone into some tall grass, the player is stopped by a famous Pokémon researcher, Professor Oak. He explains to us, the now known fact, that wild Pokémon may be living there and encountering them alone can be very dangerous – “It’s dangerous to go alone! Take this”.
As such, we are brought to his laboratory where we meet Oak’s grandson, a rival aspiring Pokémon Trainer (I am sure many have given this character some rather unflattering names). You and your rival are both instructed to select a starter Pokémon for your travels. This is our first introduction to the dynamic trie of Bulbasaur, Squirtle and Charmander.
The next step is for you to collect more Pokemon and defeat Gyms in a Pokémon battle to obtain a total of eight Gym Badges. Once the badges are acquired, we are given permission to enter the Indigo League, which consists of the best Pokémon trainers in the region. As such our journey to become the best Pokemon Trainer has begun!
How Is This Relevant?
Pokemon Red was amazing, because even with its grained pixels and weird looking adaptations of the loveable pokemons, it made you believe it was HQ Definition! The monsters were so cool that you, after just a few hours, would wish that a Growlithe was walking around your lawn. It made me want to do grinding activities, like no game before – I must have walked back and forth in the same grass piece for hours, just to catch one specific pokemon.
The coolest part was, that even when you completed it, you would want to do it again! That pokemon league could not be defeated enough times and your pokemon could not reach a high enough level. A game that could bring all of this to you, deserves some recognition and it is perfect for todays topic!
Gameplay
Overall the gameplay is quite typical for that era. You play in a third-person view, overhead perspective, which consist of three basic screens: an overworld, where we navigate the main character; a side-view battle screen; and a menu interface, in which we can configure our Pokémon, items, or gameplay settings.
The, more or less, open world map is fairly simple. You find Pokémon species, along with human-populated towns and cities, where Routes connect locations with one another. Some areas are only accessible once you learn a special ability or gain a special item. I cannot highlight enough how annoying this is, when you have a Gyarados (a water based pokemon) that cannot use “surf” aka swim…
You can use your Pokémon to battle other Pokémon. This happens all the time, when encountering a wild Pokémon or you get challenged by a trainer. Here, the screen switches to a turn-based battle screen that displays the two engaged Pokémon.
Another essential part of the game is catching Pokémon. While battling with a wild Pokémon, you can throw PokéBall at it and aggressively press B repeatedly, because everyone knows that is how it works. If the Pokémon is successfully caught, it will come under your ownership.
Finally, a brilliant gimmick of the game and one of the original wishes from the developer Satoshi Tajiri, Pokémon Red and Blue allow us to trade Pokémon between two cartridges via a Game Link Cable. This method of trading must be done to fully complete the Pokédex since certain Pokémon will only evolve upon being traded and each of the two games have version-exclusive Pokémon.
Debate Of The Day
Exclusive pokemons… see that is what I want and what I have longed for since that october in 1999. You see, after training monsters for hundreds of hours, who can spew fire, shoot lightning, and have bazookas on their back, most of our “normal” pets seem rather dull. Of course, I am aware that we have animals of a more exciting caliber in our world, but besides from a few Russians, not many people get to have their own pet bear and all the animals in Australia try to kill you.
Despite how exciting this concept has become to me over the years, I am no longer sure that it would be the best for us, to live in a world with overpowered animals. I sadly have a feeling that a world with Pokemon, might be like living in a world, where every country is Australia. It only took one episode of the pokemon anime, to introduce a vicious Spearrow attack and the risks of engaging wild Pokemon.
Yet, that is not so different from our reality today – I have personally been attacked by more than one Swan and seen plenty of bird attacks on youtube (by coincidence, it is not my fetishised search option). At the same time, the pets I am provided are the once, where picking up their own feces is too much of a task. I would love the scenario of a Magma flamethrowing its own stool to ashes, compared to me standing in the rain, fidgeting with finding the opening to the poop bag.
I see many possibilities to a life with Pokemon, but also a few red flags, which cannot be completely ignored. For one, feeding a Great Dane is quite expensive, so I won’t even start imagining the price of feeding a Snorlax. Brock might make it look easy, feeding the pokemon a few snacks here and there, but i seriously doubt that your Dragonite will take kindly to you, for feeding it only a party sausage in a span of 24 hours.
However, luckily that is why we are here today! To start the debate on whether the upsides of Pokemons as Pets, would outweigh the downsides! So follow along, as we discuss a few of the perceived hazards I have stumbled upon.
My Insurance Will Cover It
I do not know about you, but my Premium on housing and interior insurance is already pretty high – not to mention the one specifically covering “damages caused by pets”. Now I can just imagine the mocking laugh from my insurance provider, when I inform them of my new pet Charmander, whose tail is on fire, and must be so at all times, because otherwise it will die. Either they will financially ruin me with the costs or they will hang up and cancel my insurance. Let’s be honest, there is a big difference between my dog chewing a few shoes now and then, versus a walking fire hazard.
The same goes for Scyther – a trust worthy companion for those with a big garden, or a farm, who needs some weeding done! However, do not try and tell me that the “Edward scissorhand”, like pokemon, cannot cause some damage to your furniture! I am sure you can relate to the reflex of trying to catch something when it is falling? Even though it would be stupid to catch it.
As an example, I once tried to catch a cactus and I succeeded, but did not get a grip around the pot… The same goes for Scyther, it will try to be careful, but let’s say it accidentally knocks over a cup, or a pillow, or the cat… When trying to catch it, those knives won’t be of much help.
Nonetheless, there are also vast upsides to include here! A Pokemon can also offer help at certain tasks or in fixing what they broke! Odin is a great dog, but when he breaks something, he just drools on the floor, until I fix it. If Squirtle peed on the floor, it could at least help me wash it afterwards!
Can I trade my Kidney?
To those with pets, I am sure that you can relate in the saying, that we will do almost everything for them… But fuck me, it is expensive! Odin eats a ton of random stuff, he might be big, however, when it comes to eating trash, he is a ninja. Now this would be fine, if he was a labrador with an Iron stomach, but he is not.
Everything he eats has to come out again, either naturally or by the help of a professional. People, these professionals.. are not cheap. They do an awesome job, but it costs me my entire salary in one visit. It is so expensive that I would rather have my dog torpedo vomit all over my floor, than to bring him to the vet.
Pokemon on the other hand, is a completely different story! Hear me out, you use these monsters to fight off other pokemon, beating trainers, winning tournaments and smashing rocks! None of which, your Pokemon comes out of unharmed! Yet, despite these initiatives, which is fully intentional – Pokemon healthcare is for free. Imagine that? Going to the doctor, explaining that you let your dog run after the mailman, where he got hit by another car, and the vet goes; “no problem, let me fix him right up, free of charge”.
What’s worse – the expensive care we give our pets often takes a long time, with several follow up visits. Pokemons are healed and ready to fight, within 15 seconds. The last surgery Odin had (eye surgery – ran into a stick), required 6 hours on the table and five follow-ups. Correlating with seven weeks of him wearing the cone of shame. That cone might be shameful for him, but it hurts like the dickens, when he hits your shin with it.
I’m Okay…
Speaking of the dickens,the risk of personal injury with a 77kg dog is not exactly 0%. Not that he is prone to biting or being aggressive, but he is clumsy. That big lump of dough, believes himself to be no bigger than a Pug. So when he runs at you and forgets to stop, then you will not be able to avoid the wall of wrinkles that tackles you to the ground.
My point being, that despite the Pokemon seeming more intelligent than the average dog, I have seen enough of the anime to know that they still fuck up.
For one, Ash has been electrocuted on several occasions. Now imagine, that the one running towards you, all excited, ready to play, is an Onix – A pokemon composed of a giant chain of gray boulders. You might not survive that encounter. Of course, if your second pet is a Chansey, who has a healing skill, maybe that can come in handy during these incidents, but I would not bet the farm on it.
The same goes for many other Pokemon: Accidental poisoning from Gloom, Crushed rips from a Machamp bear hug, Rabies from a Raticate bite, whiplash from Tentacool, confusion from Drowzee, and I could go on. That being said, many of the pokemon have cool abilities that could be helpful to your health.
For starters; If you are stressed out, you can ask Slowbro to throw “calm mind” on you, if you cannot sleep, then Jigglypuff can use “sing” to make you dose right off, or when you need a good gym session, but cannot be f@*xed going, then Primeape could increase your motivation with “Bulk up”. The best buff my dog can provide is a cuddle to calm me down or increased rage, when whips drool all over the wall.
Best of Both worlds
I admit, I still have many Pokemon to go through and many examples of do’s and don’ts when having a Pokemon in your house, but I will save that for another time. I reckon you catch the drift, that having a pokemon as a pet is not necessarily an “easier” walk in the park than having a dog.
I still do firmly believe that with the increased hazards, comes greater possibilities, with having Pokemon in our lives. Therefore, I will continue to beg for the interdimensional rift to open, which spits out these fantastic beasts into our world. Sure, we will have some adaptation to do, like house modifications and new ways of picking up car sized poop, but it will be worth it!
That being said, I would not trade Odin for anything – all I am Asking is just the best of both worlds – is that too much?
Favorite Pokemon?
WWith that I have geeked out a fair bit – so maybe you could do the same and bring some opinions to the table? Add in the Pole what your favorite Pokemon Pet would be or write in the comments why/why not?
All right, I guess that is all I got in me for today – Thank you for reading this far and feel free to provide any feedback you may have – We would like for you to keep leveling up with us! Feel free to contribute your own content, such as fan art, game reviews, or personal gaming stories, to be featured as Pixelated Wisdom.
Sources
Thank you to the sources providing me with cool inspiration:
[…] It was fun – I remember It, as a time where we went from her reading me the instructions in Pokemon Red, to a full on competition of skills, concerning who would collect the most stars in Super Mario 64 […]